So my husband had a tooth pulled last week and this is only the second time in his life he's ever taken pain pills. Pain pills + my husband = one goofy, weird guy. For some reason the song, Because I Got High by Afro Man was playing in my head that night lol.
While he was high on pain pills I asked him to try on the hat I had just finished knitting for him.
For some reason he decided to leave that hat on which made for a great a picture.
Let me set the stage for you. We live in Northern Alabama, a place that isn't use to getting much snow. However we had a record setting snowfall of 9 inches on January 11th.
Now my husband has a small truck, not one you would use for driving on snow and ice with but he decided to take a joy ride around the neighborhood to see just how bad the roads really were.
This is how our conversation went:
Me: Where the heck are you going
Idiot Husband: I want to take a drive around the neighborhood and see how the roads are.
Me: Well the roads are pretty bad and I wish you would stay home and off the roads.
Idiot Husband: I'll be fine, quit worrying (he gets in the truck and leaves)
20 minutes later the phone rings.
Me: Where the hell are you
Idiot Husband: I'm helping pull a guy home, because he is stuck in the ice and has a low profile vehicle.
Me: BE CAREFUL
Ten Minutes later the phone rings
Idiot Husband: I'M STUCK
Me: Damnit where are you stuck at?
Idiot Husband: One street over.
Me: Well do what you can.
A few minutes later the phone rings
Idiot Husband: I'm unstuck and on my way home.
Another 15-20 minutes go by and I start to worry
I take a step outside just to see if I can see my husband anywhere and I see
my neighbor heading towards his truck.
I give him a shout out and tell him to keep an eye out for my idiot husband because he got stuck on the next street over earlier.
My neighbor holds up a big chain and says, "that's where I'm headed look down the road".
Low and behold there is my idiot husbands truck stuck sideways 2 houses down in front of our other neighbors house.
By this time I am seriously laughing my ass off and trying not to piss in my pants.
Slowly but surely my neighbor pulls him home and then idiot husband encounters a problem which he didn't anticipate. You see our driveway is on a slight incline and is completely iced over making it nearly impossible to get into our driveway. He tried every way possible to get the truck in the driveway but he kept slipping and sliding all over the place. Our neighbor even got on the bumper and jumped up and down hoping it would provide enough weight to help him make it in the drive way but that to failed.
Then they decided that maybe my neighbor could put his bumper up against my husbands bumper and push him up the driveway, but that too failed.
He finally got it in the driveway just enough that his tuck wasn't sticking out in the road and that's where it stayed until we shoveled the driveway and put cardboard under the tires to get it in the driveway.
The Tow Home
Yes it's been awhile but life has been busy. However that hasn't stopped my husband from his antics and I have many more pictures to upload in the next few days. Here is a teaser for y'all.
Yesterday was mine and my husbands 7 year wedding anniversary.
He had been planning yesterday for months and even traded in his trade mark Hawaiian shirt and green shorts for slacks and a nice shirt.
My parents kept the kids all day and all night so that the husband and I could celebrate our Anniversary.
I told him he could plan it because I wanted to be surprised and I wanted to put his man planning skills to the test.
You ladies know what a toll having 2 kids can take on our bodies so it's been at least 2 years since I've been able to wear my beautiful engagement ring. My wedding band still fits just not my engagement ring.
Well he surprised me by having it stretched. Of course he wouldn't let me have it until yesterday but I was thrilled to be able to wear it once again.
Now when Mr. Man plans something there is always a snag and it never goes as planned.
Well as women tend to do we dream of the day our Prince Charming gets down on one knee and slips a ring on our finger and asks us to be their wife.
Mr. Man didn't get down on one knee but yet while we were walking through a parking lot he attempted to slide it on my finger while walking but managed to cut my hand with it and well lets just say it wasn't the romantic proposal I had dreamed about.
Well yesterday he made it right. He took me to our favorite place, got down on one knee and told me how much he loved me and thanked me for our two beautiful children and slipped the ring on my finger. I was thrilled and shocked all at once and I think even a little speechless.
Definitely something I'll never forget.
Later that evening we went for dinner. Even though we had reservations we still had to wait a bit but I didn't mind except for all the annoying prom kids hanging around outside being loud and obnoxious.
The restaurant was wonderful and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Mr. Man eating Lobster Bisque and he even took a bite of the vinaigrette coated spinach leaf in my salad. He doesn't eat lettuce, tomatoes or anything that has to do with salads so that was shocking.
I told him last night that after the day we had I could no longer call him an unromantic bastard lol.
I have to say that Mr. Man made it a wonderful anniversary and even though he may act a fool and dress like a nut I love that man more than anything.
A bat to the nose. Uh yeah I think Daddy Jones swung the bat a little to hard lol.
*no one was harmed during the taking of this picture*
Yesterday Mr. Man and I decided to grill out burgers. Well Mr. Man can't grill without smoking a Black N Mild so he decided to go to the gas station and pick him up one.
Here is how the conversation went:
Mr. Man: Honey have you seen my flip flops
Me: No not since last summer
Mr. Man: SWEET!!!! I found my slip on shoe........HONEY do you know were the mate is to this shoe?
Me: Uh no
Mr. Man: SWEET!!!!!!
Me: You found the other shoe
Mr. Man: Nope I found another slip on shoe that is missing it's mate
Me: Uhhhhhh ok how is that SWEET!!!
Mr. Man: Because now I have sandals to wear
Me: Hey dumbass they don't match
Mr. Man: I know but I can still wear them
Me: Look for the damn mate to at least one pair
Mr. Man: I can't, one is MIA and the other one I ran over with the lawnmower last summer
Me: Seriously DO NOT go to the gas station in mismatch shoes, they know us in there
Mr. Man: So I don't care
And with that he went to the gas station in his mismatched sandals and proceeded to wear them the rest of the afternoon knowing that it was aggravating the shit out of me.
Starting the Easter festivities a few days early..........And YES he IS sitting on a Little Tykes slide.
I did make him change his shirt, he wanted to go to the preschool Easter egg hunt in his ugliest Hawaiian shirt and black shorts. Uh yeah Momma Jones put her foot down on that one lol.
I was almost to embarrassed to blog this one, but then I thought of how unfair it was for me NOT to share this with you all. This is Joe explaining the thought process of his latest wardrobe catastrophe.
Now my husband is a VERY intelligent man and he is not in anyway mentally challenged, so please don't think that. I just don't think he gives a crap sometimes lol.
He had been lounging around all day in his famous green shorts and robe. Well he decided that he needed to go to the ATM at 8:00pm last night. I told him to wait till morning because the money wasn't going anywhere but he was hell bent on going.
I hear him rustling around in the laundry room and then he walks out, and as soon as I saw him I busted out laughing thinking he was playing around.
Much to my surprise he wasn't playing around.
Instead of his usual green shorts he put on his Captain Morgan bed pants because it was cold out.
Apparently he didn't want to wear his slippers so work boots it was. THEN instead of taking off his robe he just put a sweater on OVER it.
The conversation went like this:
Me: Ummm honey WTF are you wearing?
Joe: Clothes
Me: Seriously you are not going to wear that. Are you?
Joe: Why not I'm not getting out of the truck
Me: Well why didn't you take your robe off?
Joe: Because I'm to lazy and it's warm.
Me: Well if you're not getting out of the truck then why did you put a sweater on
OVER your robe?
Joe: Because I lost the belt for it and if someone pulls up beside me I don't want
them seeing my bare chest.
Me: What if you get pulled over?
He just shrugged his shoulders and headed out the door with me just standing there shaking my head. I was so surprised by his attire that I almost forgot to take a picture.
Courtesy of my husband.
This is a quote directly from him: The textbook definition of being a father. When you have kids, your perspective on things changes. You raise your sons hoping they will turn out to be just like you. You raise your daughters hoping they will stay away from guys like you.
There you have it folks, a dads random thought on parenting.
You're to big for the moon bounce.
This lovely picture was taken at our family reunion last 4th of July.
After recent snow, these are the lovely messages I found on my car. Courtesy of my loving husband.
Ok so just for the record, Mr. Man barely drinks but he keeps a little something in the cabinet when he needs a night cap. On occasion he'll smoke a Black N Mild but never in the house around the kids. Okay with that out of the way, our conversation went a little something like this:
Mr. Man: Honey I'm going to go outside to smoke a Black N Mild
Me: (At this time he was only in shorts and a Hawiian shirt) Well it's pretty cold out there you may want to wear something warm.
Mr. Man: Ok (he goes off and puts his bathrobe on). Honey have you seen my house shoes?
Me: No honey I don't keep up with them.
Mr. Man: Oh Ok ( so he goes and puts on his work boots. Notice there are no socks involved YUCK).
Me: MR. MAN ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING OUT LIKE THAT?
Mr. Man: Yep sure am.
And with that he posed for a picture and headed out the door in his oh so sexy get up.
I don't even worry about the neighbors seeing him anymore because they know him and they too expect it.
